No Pasta in Milan!
Three years ago, I was on my stag do in Italy. Accompanied by my brother, my dad and a couple of friends who do not drink alcohol, it is hard to imagine a gentler affair.
Upon our arrival in Milan on Friday evening, we took the train to Milano Centrale. Not only is this one of the major transport hubs of the city, it is a beautiful building and a tourist attraction in its own right. The others were keen to make their way to our hotel and then find somewhere to eat, but I was busy photographing the Art Nouveau and Art Deco architecture. I was already making plans to return during daylight hours. This set the tone for the weekend.
After dropping off our luggage in our hotel rooms, we headed out in search of some much-needed food. We soon found a reasonable-looking restaurant that had a varied menu. It was time to sample some authentic Italian food.
“Sorry, we do not have any pasta at the moment,” a waiter informed us.
Having been informed of all of the unavailable items, we ended up ordering some pizzas and lasagne that had been warmed in the microwave. The perfect start to our culinary exploration of Milan! What are the odds of choosing a restaurant in Italy that has run out of pasta!
Minimal Alcohol Consumption but Plenty of Time Spent at Church
The bulk of Saturday afternoon was spent at Duomo di Milano, the cathedral of Milan. This involved queueing for what seemed like an eternity, wandering around the interior whilst some of our small group seemed bored out of their minds, and climbing a never-ending, narrow staircase to the cathedral roof. To be fair, the building is an incredible work of art. Ornate decorative features and statues can be found throughout one of the largest churches in the world. Visiting the cathedral roof provided the opportunity to inspect some of the artwork that would be impossible to see from street level.
We also visited Milan’s oldest shopping centre, the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II. There cannot be many grander places to indulge in some retail therapy than in the intersecting glass-vaulted arcades, not that we had any intention of spending a fortune in the designer shops. Instead, I spun my heel on a bull’s testicles. This was not as disturbing as it sounds, as it merely involved a good luck ritual. Legend states that if you spin around three times with your heel on the bull’s testicles that are depicted on the Turin coat of arms displayed on the floor of the shopping centre, you are guaranteed good fortune. This has caused damage to the mosaic, with a hole appearing where the testicles are. Poor bull!
The notorious string salesmen of Milan were out in full force that day. Their sophisticated sales technique involved placing a piece of string in your hand or on your shoulder and then asking for some money in return. We somehow managed to resist the temptation to purchase some string, instead choosing to head to a bar to watch the second half of Burnley vs. Manchester United. My brother and I had a pint of beer but the others stuck to Pepsi and orange juice. What a wild bunch we were!
Tucked up in bed by 9pm, Canals and the San Siro
I had another beer with my evening meal, making a grand total of two for the day! Although my choice of seabass was a good one, my decision to leave the bones in place was a disaster. The waiter even seemed surprised that I selected this option. He gave me a couple of opportunities to change my mind, but I am unable to fathom why I did not take him up on his offer. Instead, I had to carefully pick at the flesh and constantly worry about choking to death.
We all seemed tired and at a loose end after a busy day, so we just retired to our rooms for the night. It was 9pm on Saturday night and we were in Milan on my stag do, yet I was tucked up in bed comparing YouTube videos of darts players falling over with my friend Paul. This kind of behaviour is unheard of on a stag do!
A quiet, relaxing day was needed in order to recover from such a heavy night; therefore, I took us to the network of canals known as Navigli. Restaurants and bars offer customers the opportunity to enjoy some food and drink whilst taking in this picturesque setting. It has become a trendy area; God knows what we were doing there.
Sunday night’s match between Inter and Roma was the reason we had chosen Milan as the destination for my stag do. We are all football fans, and Inter are my favourite Italian club. The game ended in a 1-1 draw. The Roma ‘Ultras,’ known for their violence, were kept behind whilst we were let out of the ground. Unfortunately, we wasted this head start by taking a wrong turn and walking all the way round the stadium. The Roma Ultras were released just as we returned to our original exit point. Thankfully, we made it back to the metro station without getting assaulted! Watching a match at the famous San Siro stadium was a thoroughly enjoyable experience that crowned a pleasant, albeit unconventional, stag weekend. I will be surprised if anyone has ever had a tamer stag do!
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