After waking up each morning, I always look at the same websites and apps in the same order. I repeat this process at various points throughout the day, even if I have no need to, or I know that there have not have been any updates since I last checked.

Another thing that I often do, when I’m not working my way through the list, is to open an app (i.e. this one) have a quick browse for anything interesting before closing it… only to re-open it seconds later and do the same thing, almost unaware that I’m treading over previously covered ground.

There are also plenty of things that I insist on doing a specific way, such as when eating dinner I always position the food or rotate my plate so that the chunkiest item is on the right, nearest my knife, and that any sauce is as far away from me as possible.

When I do the dishes, each item has to be placed on a specific spot on the draining rack every time — bowls to the right, plates on the left with the same amount of space between each one.

I have a similar system for doing the laundry. Each item has its own designated spot on the maiden/clothes horse — tops on hangers hooked over the four corners, trousers over the end bars, and smaller items over the ones in between.

When I observe anyone else doing the dishes or laundry, I notice that most people do not have the same obsessive tendencies. I almost have a panic attack (slight exaggeration!) when I see that someone has randomly stacked the pots or hung up clothing on the maiden. Sometimes I’ll even have the urge to re-arrange them. I know it’s odd, but my mind feels calmer when everything has been done the way that I’m used to.

I am unable to give a definitive explanation for why I do these things; perhaps the rituals are a way of calming my overactive mind. Maybe I crave routine or it’s a way of ensuring that I focus on just one task rather than allowing my thoughts to jump from one thing to another. I’m not sure if I have undiagnosed ADHD or some other form of neurodivergence, but there are a lot of common traits that apply to me.

I’ve been gradually reducing the number of websites/apps on my regular loop, and I am trying to be less obsessive about certain things being done in a particular way. Our odd little habits don’t have to be banished completely though, unless they are doing harm to ourselves or others. Just being aware of such things can help us to take steps to improve our mental wellbeing.